


Only love can hurt like this

by Miss_Kitten



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 10:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9719384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Kitten/pseuds/Miss_Kitten
Summary: Based on an imagine: “Imagine accidentally falling in love with Sauron when he was Melkor’s servant, even though you are betrothed to someone else, and he does all he can to see you” from imaginexhobbit.tumblr.com





	

An evening has just begun to fall, the sky turning into darker shade of blue, yet still illuminated with lights of the Trees.

It is peaceful, the place you’ve chosen isolated and visited only by you and the Maia, who you are waiting for. He will come soon, his arrival is always precisely at the hour of your meeting.

You have never wanted this. Never expected to fallen for him. Years ago, you were promised to another and you have been pleased with the choice and the arrangement, knowing your betrothed since you were little.

It was until you walked into lord Aulë’s forges, with a word from his wife, and your eyes landed on Mairon. His long silver hair were braided, his shirt unlaced, exposing his chest, and ever since you could not think of anything else than him.

It seemed he, as well, could not forget you. One day, in lady Yavanna’s garden you were working in, Mairon approached you and gifted you with a hair bead, the jewels in it resembling the color of your eyes.

It happened very fast since that day. You told him that you were to wed the elf your parents chose for you, that you were not allowed to dream about another, but it did not stop either of you from sneaking out to meet, even if for a brief moment. You would feel guilty after parting with him, but as soon as Mairon was near, you were filled with happiness and all your worries and fear vanished.

Soon enough, you understood that what you felt was love and that your heart will never belong to anyone but Mairon. But a promise is a promise and you will not break it, even if it will cost you your happiness.

Which was gone in a second you were informed that Mairon fled from lord Aulë and was serving the rebellious Valar, Melkor. You pleaded and begged, reasoned and cried, yet to no avail. You refused to call him Sauron, much to his dismay.

And the two of you had to become even more discreet, more secretive.

“My love,” a soft, deep voice calls from behind you and you close your eyes as his arms snake around your waist. You lean into his embrace, so warm and reassuring.

“I’ve missed you,” you confess, resting your head on his shoulder and looking up at him, his beautiful features full of love and longing.

He spins you in his arms, making you face him, in no time pressing his lips to yours with fervor he’s always had for you.

You allow yourself get lost in the caress, whimpering when he pushes you backwards, pinning you to a tree. Luckily, the far end of Yavanna’s garden provides you much needed isolation and hides you from unwanted attention.

Kissing him back with matching passion, you tangle your fingers into his long locks, scratching his scalp, eliciting a low growl from him. Mairon does not hold back as he slides his hands down your sides, one of them rests on your hip, the other travels lower and lower, reaching your calf. He yanks your leg up, prompting you to wrap it over his waist.

You shiver when his finger graze your inner thigh.

“Mairon,” you rasp as you break away from him, your palms now sprawled on his chest. He opens his lust-clouded eyes, his hot breath fanning over your face.

“Forgive me,” he says, his voice hoarse and pulls his hand from under your skirts, helping you rearrange your attire.

“I wish I could give it to you.”

“Yet, you cannot. How long is it to that day?”

“Twelve days,” you answer, your heart sinking in your chest. Mairon’s face fills with sadness and what seems to be anger and you move your palms to cradle it.

“There’s nothing we can do. I tried to speak with my mother, I begged her to do something. She said ‘you will not bring shame upon this family. A word was given and you will marry him.’”

“Not if you come with me. Not if we ran away.”

“And stay where? With your new master? Mairon, I will not live anywhere near the Evil, not willingly.”

He narrows his eyes at you, eyeing your stern expression.

“Only you call me by my old name. Only you are not afraid to be around me.”

“Only I love you hard enough to see that last bit of goodness you have inside.”

“Stop. You do not know what you’re talking about. Melkor is stronger than other Valar. He’s more powerful.”

“And you will submit to him to be more powerful? Do you not remember what you’ve said last time we met? _You touch me and I am on fire. You kiss me and I am a storm. You hold my hand and I can crash mountains.”_

“Don’t, please,” he squeezes his eyes shut, his head falling on your shoulder and a pained sob falls from his lips. You know how conflicted he is, how much agony he is trough, having to hide his love for you from his current master. There is a reason for that – Melkor will not hesitate to use you to bend Mairon to his will, should your beloved question the orders.

You stroke his hair, a soothing gesture which soon calms Mairon down.

“Choose me, Mairon. Leave Melkor and ask Aulë to have you back. I will plead with lady Yavanna to-“

“No, I will not beg. And you, Y/N, you cannot save me.”

“I can,” you state, your lips locking with his and for a short moment both of you believe in that. It does not last long, the illusion soon parish and you are not surprised when you taste salty tears – yours or his – in the kiss.

“I did not mean to torment you like that.”

“Do you regret meeting me?”

“No, Y/N, there’s no remorse in me. Only hurt and sorrow. I only wish I have met you earlier so that I could rival for your heart.”

“I would choose you.”

“I know,” he murmurs, trailing your jaw with sweet kisses.

“I believe it’s best we won’t see each other no more. I am to wed another. We must… we must forget, Mairon, you must forget me.”

He turns his disbelieving gaze at you, his hands grasping your arms almost painfully as he studies your face, searching for a lie. When he finds none, his face becomes blank, ridden of any emotion – something you never witness before, something that he had learnt from his new master.

“That I cannot do, and you are aware of it. Yet, if that is what you wish for, I will not bother you anymore. I will leave you be, never again come to even look at you. All I ask for is but one answer.”

“Yes?”

“Was it true? Your words, your touches, your smiles?”

You take a deep breath, steadying your voice and willing away burning tears from your eyes. Mairon’s eyes bore into yours, pleading for the answer as if he does not already know it.

“It _is_ true, Mairon. All I’ve said and all I’ve given you.”

“I am grateful, then, for every precious memory you’ve gifted me with,” he takes your hand and presses his lips to your knuckles.

“Please…”

“I shall leave now, but know that you have been the only one I have and ever will love. My heart is yours and yours only. And I will _never_ forget you.”

He kisses your lips once more, pouring every ounce of love he has inside. Before you can stop him, he is gone, vanishing in the thin air as if he was never there, as if it was nothing more than your imagination.

You collapse on the ground, hiding your face in your hands and let the tears ran freely. You sob for long hours, mourning your lost love, mourning the Maia who turned his heart to the evil.

Said Maia appears far, far away from you, in a tower of his master. He clenches his jaw, pressing his forehead against the cold wall of stone. He will keep his word and never meet you again, however you will see him. You will hear of him.

For if he cannot have you, he will burn the world to ash, destroy all the good in it, punish everyone who dared to keep you away from him. There was a time when a mere thought of such terror would break his heart.  Now, however, his heart cannot be broken. It’s no longer his to care for.

He left it with you.   


End file.
